“Placing the blame or judgment on someone else leaves you powerless to change your experience; taking responsibility for your beliefs and judgments gives you the power to change them.” —- Byron Katie
How often have we really absorbed the intrinsic meaning of what that above quote really suggests? It’s not challenging to know individuals who have been able to circumvent a great deal of responsibility or commitment. We find these people in our families, they are among our friends, loved ones, colleagues, associates, organizations, clubs, various groups, and most noticeably in our children and grandchildren. Once we become conscious of this characteristic, depending where it fundamentally exists within our experience, in what manner do we acknowledge the resolution? Given what the impact of this is upon our existence and our life, usually precipitates our response. Stephen Covey puts it another way, “Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us.”
As an educator, I was privileged to see a great deal of life consciously unfold before my eyes during my tenure. Dealing with various boards of education, administrations, fellow colleagues, and students from many different grade levels and school districts, gave me a plethora of experience that remains ingrained in my consciousness. This can be said of our life’s journey and experience no matter where we find ourselves, and being thrust into various situations, or circumstances reveals what individuals place blame or judgment on someone else, and who does not. When you are presently aware of your consciousness, and objective to the unfolding of life around you, Albert Einstein shares these poignant thoughts . . . “Out of clutter find simplicity; from discord find harmony; in the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”
Over time, as life unfolds for each of us we realize, unless and until the individual consciously sees for themselves in any given situation or circumstance . . . there is absolutely noting you can do, say, act out or present in any way that will change another person’s ability to see, understand, acknowledge, release, or contemplate their placing the blame or judgment on others for their lack of responsibility or commitment. It just won’t happen. In the last analysis, we finally learn to accept every individual as they are . . . without judgment. For some this may take decades, however, when reflecting on these words in a Yiddish proverb may bring a great deal of peace, tranquility and serenity . . . “If you can’t be grateful for what you have received, then be thankful for what you have been spared.” JLR