“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” — Pema Chodron
All to often I am involved with a myriad of individuals who seem to be perplexed, conflicted, frustrated, disconnected and confused with the circumstances they find themselves, either professionally or personally. Of course, it is completely understandable how this may be interpreted as convoluted circumstances in anyone’s life , when they feel they are spinning their wheels and see no progress in the moment or future. When it appears you are heading into walls, dead ends and a steady stream of closed doors with no encouragement day after day after day, which way do you turn for guidance, direction, solace and support? Joseph Campbell sheds a little light with this quote, “The black moment is the moment when the real message of transformation is going to come. At the darkest moment comes the light.”
Whether you have found yourself in this position, or you have family, friends or loved ones in the midst of this continued struggle the fundamental message taken from the above two quotes is the same. We can keep running in circles, beating our proverbial chests in outrage and unfortunately a basic truth keeps slapping us in the face. Whatever the circumstances no matter how much despair we may experience . . . we must face our weaknesses, failures and lack of recognition in taking responsibility to where we may find ourselves . . . like it or not. You might ask the following of yourself being completely honest. How did I contribute to this situation? What in my personality precipitated what happened, or do you even have a clue? Have I acted with righteous indignation, arrogance, insensitivity, narcissistic ideology, anger, abuse, unforgiving attitude or a mean-spirited essence of on-going hostility? Do you believe you were treated unfairly or taken for granted for no apparent reason? This may sound a bit exaggerated, however . . . welcome to the process of life. No matter what age you are, what you believe you have accomplished or deserve, doesn’t really make much difference. When you have climbed through the slime of your active involvement of your life with unvarnished truth, honesty, integrity, values and dignity . . . consciously . . .this quote by Anais Nin is quite appropriate . . . “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”
The conscious dilemma then becomes, as you find yourself in this dark space of immovable endurance, an excavation is necessary by you from the depths of your breath and existence. There is no escaping the truth of what you have become, because using these simple words that is the title of a book by Jon Kabat Zinn “Wherever You Go There You Are.” I know whether you believe it or not, you’ve really tried to run away from yourself and not taken responsibility of these present circumstances . . . so how is that working out? It’s hard to face ourselves and all the baggage that we keep collecting and hauling around, however Ram Dass makes a bold suggestion to all of us and one that bears repeating here, “If you think you’re enlightened, go spend a week with your family.” JLR