“Placing the blame or judgment on someone else leaves you powerless to change your experience; taking responsibility for your beliefs and judgments gives you the power to change them.” — Byron Katie
In the last analysis when we finally awaken to who we are, why we’re here and where we’re going, taking responsibility in totality for our beliefs and judgments or lack thereof, is an immense step in personal growth experience. Never sell it short or dismiss how important this is in your life. Sometimes those lessons or events keep repeating themselves in one way or another, until we recognize through thoughtful observation, study or meditation based in conscious contemplation . . . exactly how to change direction, making a more informed choice based on our experiences. Does this happen easily? Of course not . . . otherwise we would have changed course a long time ago and created different experiences. James Hollis put it another way . . . “At this late date, it is your defenses, not your wound, that cause the problem and arrest your journey.”
It is not pleasant to take the blame for our failures or poor judgments. Our defense mechanisms have been well perfected through years upon years of protecting our egos, and self interests. Layers and layers of self indoctrination, have given us a skill set to escape any/all responsibility for our well outlined beliefs and judgments. We’ve all done it in one capacity or another without giving it a second thought or concern . . . until one day a specific experience changes the direction of our entire lives, and leaves us profoundly blindsided. When we spend a huge chunk of our lives placing the blame or judgment on someone else, we are incapable of recognizing or understanding what to do. If we’re lucky we can become introspective, by taking the time to examine thoughtfully a practice of changing our experience. There is another way of looking at it suggested by Pema Chodron . . . “Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.”
Once again we stand at the threshold of conscious choice, and when awakened to that choice it is a personal responsibility to embrace the challenges, or go back to what doesn’t work. It’s always safer to choose what is familiar; unfortunately, we now are confronted with our own truth knowing full well what will happen if we go backwards. Going backwards works for awhile, but is never a permanent or sustaining change that lasts. Mark Twain suggests something that is quite permanent and quite daunting . . . “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” JLR