“If you find yourself being treated in a way you resent or that turns you into a victim, ask yourself this question: ‘What have I done to teach this person that this behavior is something I’m willing to tolerate?'” —- Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
We’ve all been there in one way or another, although some individuals do not realize what has just happened to them due to their inactive lack of consciousness. When we take a look reflectively, at the various encounters that have made us uncomfortable, uneasy, upset, frustrated or angry throughout our lives some may notice a pattern. This pattern is always more obvious, when we are truly aware and conscious of our own words, actions and behavior in conjunction with those of others, which is the norm and not the exception. At a very young age, I learned a very simple principle that has served me quite well over the years which simply put is: we always teach people how to treat us. There isn’t really any exception to this on any level, because when we know the basic essence of our existence and who we are, there exists a reciprocity that is incontrovertible to the individual at the basic core of comprehension. Unless and until we see ourselves as others see us, these words of Howard Thurman may not make much sense at first hearing . . . “It is very easy to sit in judgement upon the behavior of others, but often difficult to realize that every judgement is a self-judgment.”
The bottom line is none of us get a free ride, nor do we deserve one when it comes to how we treat others. Complaining about how our family, friends, business colleagues, associates, husbands, wives, children, or even complete strangers treat us doesn’t really cut it, because nothing will change. Think carefully about what kind of energy you’ve been sending out to your fellow man perhaps for only a brief period of time, but maybe your entire lifetime, and you don’t in this moment have a conscious clue. Dr. Wayne W. Dyer suggests this bit of advice, “If you get pushed around, you’ve been sending push-me-around signals.” That’s it! It’s not any more complicated than that.
When we finally realize that we can’t change anything except ourselves, makes everything else a bit more palatable, reasonable, understandable and possible. A good place to start in changing yourself, might be by forgiving yourself for the lack of whatever you feel is inherently not within your skill set. Begin to understand who you are, what you believe, why you’re here, what your principles, values, ethics and integrity entail coupled with the courage to stand for those character traits. Not to shabby, and a great start! Throughout this learning experience we casually call life . . . we will know false starts, dubious narratives, dead ends, complicated relationships on all levels, betrayal, conflicted feelings concerning just about everything that matters to us, and then comes another revelation . . . we couldn’t control any of it . . . just the small part dealing with ourselves and even then it’s almost impossible. Given all of this, it finally comes down to . . . each of us are the sum total of all our choices. Conscious awareness is an inordinate element of our essence and Albert Einstein adds this shard of wisdom to the equation, “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift, and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and forgotten the gift.” We have the opportunity to embrace those gifts that have always existed within ourselves, and more importantly those that exist within our fellow man. Create that which you wish to experience through the energy of conscious vision, becoming the visionary and not the victim. JLR