“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.” —- Thomas Merton
The above quote may be more easily said than done, due to our pervasive ego, conscious choice of will and need to be right. We have all experienced that individual or group that believes their ideas, intentions, motivations, conduct, behavior and view is universally acceptable. It doesn’t make much difference where this occurs in our lives, we just have the distant feeling, understanding and realization that our opinions, suggestions, views, initiatives or involvement has been squelched, disregarded and dismissed without ceremony . . . but as a matter of course. Most of us have gone through something like this, through various stages in our personal or professional lives. It doesn’t take long for most of us to just extricate ourselves from whatever the situation is, and change direction. If we’re lucky this awareness doesn’t take half a lifetime to understand, but some individuals for whatever reason may be sustaining that false sense of security due to perhaps a fear of failure. John Sinclair suggests this . . . “Failure is a bruise, not a tattoo.”
Starting over is terrifying to some people, and for others a priceless opportunity. Just as it is beyond challenging to experience the imposition of what others push for us to accept in the boardroom, on the job, or in whatever walk of life we find ourselves . . . it is just as devastating for us to do that to our families, friends or loved ones. Unfortunately, we don’t always realize on a conscious level what we’re doing. We rationalize for ourselves that this is for the greater good, and if the child, person or group would just relinquish their position giving in to your vision . . . a conscious choice of will is served and issues resolved . . . your way. In reality, what have you really done? Have you twisted a situation, individual or group to fit what you believe the image should be . . . an acceptable reflection of yourself? You make the call. In the last analysis we really cannot change anyone . . . only ourselves via our conscious choice of will. Let’s hope we don’t get to the end of our life’s journey with these words by Marion Woodman resounding in our consciousness . . . “All escapes were cut off. I had to move into my own silence and find out who was in there.” JLR