“The deepest principle of human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” —- William James
At one time or another, we have all experienced the feeling of being completely unappreciated whether it be on a personal or professional level. The real essence of dealing with the feeling of being unappreciated, is simply our response to it. On a personal level, it may be a family member, close friend or confidant that is completely oblivious of how they have taken you for granted and under appreciated your existence in their lives. Knowing that, the important aspect of this acknowledgement on your part is in your response to what is occurring. Your Conscious Choice of Will now involves your growth, maturity, sensitivity, insight, introspection and ability to see what might be more important in the relationship, and most often than not . . . it doesn’t involve your personal feelings. The choice becomes what you can overlook or accept, and perhaps forget through a dialogue of understanding, compassion, and forgiveness. Hazrat Inayat Khan puts it another way . . . “Life is a symphony, and the action of every person in this life is the playing of their particular part in the music.”
Looking at this another way, and taking this lack of appreciation on a professional level, may present other choices. There are a myriad of circumstances surrounding your feeling of being unappreciated “on the job, or in the board room.” However, the basic principles remain constant. It is always your response to the stimulus of being unappreciated. Perhaps after a number of years, it just may be time to move on and grow in another direction. Of course, we don’t always see it that way in the initial stages, but after a period of time it becomes quite clear that moving in another way is better for all concerned . . . especially you. There is another way of looking at this, as Dennis Merritt Jones states, “In a confrontation between a stream and a rock, the stream always wins because it surrenders to the call of gravity, flowing over, under, and around the rock to follow its purpose.”
In any given situation, we come to understand our purpose when we surrender to the call of gravity. All to often, we fail to see what the specific reason/purpose is behind our present circumstances. This isn’t easy for anyone and causes a great deal of angst, anxiety, frustration, misunderstanding, and hurt. However, over time and taking those infinitesimal steps on your life’s journey . . . the ability to have patience with the evolving nuances of life becomes more the practice while understanding the process. In the last analysis Judy Garland put in another way . . . “Always be the first-rate version of yourself instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” JLR