“As I walked out of the door toward my freedom, I knew that if I did not leave all the anger, hatred and bitterness that I would still be in prison.” — Nelson Mandela
The obvious issue that Nelson Mandela was reflecting upon here is forgiveness. For Mr. Mandela as for the rest of us . . . forgiveness is not an easy choice to make. As we have experienced both personally and professionally from a very young age, making the choice to forgive those who have hurt, harmed, abused, wounded, attacked, lied, betrayed or caused us extreme pain in any way . . . is one of the most extremely difficult things to do. That’s a given, with very few who would argue or contradict the premise. Carrying the burden of this angst and hostility over a period of years or decades, causes emotional disability and sometimes physical discomfort for no one else but you. Awakening to the conscious awareness of how this impacts your behavior and relationship with everyone is key. Once you make a definitive choice to forgive those, who have made transgressions of any kind toward you . . . will fundamentally change your entire life. The Dalai Lama states this another way, “If you cannot help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them.”
We have all met individuals that make such an impression on our lives, awareness, being and consciousness, who project sympathetic understanding, kindness in response, with a presence of warmth, security, comfort and safety that we are drawn to them sometimes . . . unconsciously. These rare individuals give us a safe place to fall, and be ourselves without judgment, criticism or intolerance. We feel blessed to have had these people grace our lives, and share their timeless ability to embrace us . . . warts and all. Consider yourself lucky to know one or more of these unique beings in your life’s journey. Taking that one step further, be that person others embrace as a treasure and blessing. Eleanor Roosevelt put it another way, “Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints on your heart.”
In the last analysis, forgiveness is a gift you give yourself . . . without a doubt, question or equivalency. Take the risk, break the shackles of your own prison, and be that person who just might score footprints on the hearts of your fellow man. Eckhart Tolle puts this another way, “To know yourself as the Being underneath the thinker, the stillness underneath the mental noise, the love and joy underneath the pain, is freedom, salvation, enlightenment. JLR